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Munchkin & Kizzy love socks too! In fact Munchkin especially, loves to collect socks then hide them in her bed. And my husband wonders why he never can find socks to wear. She certainly qualifies as a Sockamaniac!

Purling Puppies Webring

 A Face Only a Mother Could Love!

Aren't I cute?

A Gail wannabe

Help yourself to my button if you are a frogger(rip-it, rip-it, rip-it!)

I am a firm believer in the old adage, "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone." Sad but true, however I think the reason that people will avoid someone who's discouraged, sad or depressed is because they too are struggling with day to day stresses that can rob them of their joy. I don't have to tell you that we are living in difficult times and some days it is hard to find a reason to smile. Yet laughter has many health benefits. Yes doctors now recognize the importance that laughter and joy has on our health. Stress as we all know is a killer. It can cause high blood pressure, heart attacks and depression. These days it's hard not to be stressful. Everything is so fast paced. It seems like we're in a constant race. That's why a lot of us turn to knitting and spinning. It's a great stress reliever and we put that stress to good use. I can't tell you how many things I have knitted, beaded and spun. They say when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well my motto is, when life hands you lemons, use it to dye yarn for socks! Right? So when you're feeling down, come on over to my page and have a few laughs.  Laughter that comes from down deep in the belly, makes you cry and  causes pain in your sides is a wonderful thing. Never mind coffee! Have you had your belly laugh today? Do you have a funny to share with your fellow sock readers? If you do, please send them to me and if I publish them, you'll receive a free sock pattern.

Mystery of Gail’s Feather & Fan Socks
Or Gail Has GOOFED Again!

Once upon a time, (It was more like yesterday to be exact.) there was this absolutely gorgeous redheaded beauty named Gail (Ya right! Her red hair was courtesy of Miss Clairol. Oh alright, I confess! It's really Garnier's Intense Auburn) She was petite, (You mean short don't you?) with a very shapely body. (As in rotund.) Men just couldn’t stop looking at her. ( They couldn't look at anything else for she was blocking their view with her rotund figure.) After many years, she got tired of being yelled at by men as she walked by. (She thought it was because they were admiring her shapely figure and gorgeous red hair. Ya right! NOT! They were actually yelling at her to get out of their way. They were at Fenway Park trying to watch the Red Sox. She goes there quite often with her husband who’s an avid Red Sox fan.) She wanted to be admired because of her mind not her body. I mean beauty after all isn’t everything. (This lady is really delusional and needs to get a life!) She decided to expand her horizons by learning something new (She thinks a horizon refers only to where the sun rises and sets.) so she went to her LYS to learn how to knit. (This I gotta see.) While she was there, she saw a group of women knitting socks happily while chatting away. This caught her interest so she decided to try knitting socks. She ran through that shop like a crazed person grabbing all colors of sock yarn from the bins, DPN’s and circulars from the hooks and sock books from the racks. (Man, you should have seen the ruts in the floor after she had been there.) Armed with her bags of knitting goodies, she quickly ran home (More like waddled because of her shapely figure.) eager to get started. After awhile the sound of clickity, clickity, clickity began to be heard from her favorite room. Clickity, clickity, clickity could be heard all over the neighborhood. Clickity, clickity, clickity could be heard as you approached her house. Clickity, clickity, clickity could be heard on the bus as she made her way to and from the LYS. Clickity, clickity, clickity, was heard in bookstores, doctor’s offices, restaurants, beauty parlors, nail parlors, grocery stores, any place she went. (Even the bathroom. When does this woman stop?) She even knitted socks while in bed. Clickity, clickity, clickity, her poor husband had to buy earplugs in order to be able to stand the constant noise. He had read somewhere that the clickity, clickity, clickity of her DPN’s could cause major damage to his hearing so he wasn’t about to take any chances. What he didn’t know was that his wife was lovingly knitting by hand socks for him. (She knew that the way to her husband’s wallet for money to buy more yarn was though his feet. He likes warm feet. She’s no fool!) One day her husband was reading the newspaper while clickity, clickity, clickity, was heard in the background. By now, he had gotten used to the clickity, clickity, clickity sound. He was into his second cup of coffee when he noticed that the house suddenly got quiet.  Fearing that something must have happened to his wife, he started for her favorite room to check on her. He was almost there when all of a sudden he heard this earth-shattering scream coming from her room. He bolted down the hall, yanked open the door and ran into the room. To his complete and utter surprise, there stood his shapely wife jumping up and down with glee screaming in excitement. In her hands were two socks that she had just finished for him. This was the very first pair of socks she had ever knitted. Well you can just imagine how her husband felt when he grabbed the socks from her hands and excitedly tried them on. He was so beside himself at the fact that his absolutely gorgeous red headed beautiful petite wife with the shapely body lovingly knit by hand socks for him, that he ran out the door to the his favorite hangout so he could show the boys his socks that his  absolutely gorgeous red headed beautiful petite wife with the shapely body lovingly knit by hand just for him. (She finally proved that she was more than just a body. More like two bodies but her hubby loved her shapely body. He was the only one!) After lovingly knitting by hand two more pairs of sock for her husband, she decided it was time to knit some socks for her. (What an unselfish woman! It’s about time she treat herself.) By now, she felt confident enough to try a new method for knitting socks called The Magic Loop Method using 1 circular needle. So out came her brightly colored yarn that she was saving for herself, (Did I say she was unselfish? Wrong! Hubby would have loved socks lovingly knit by his shapely wife by hand for himself.) and off to the computer she went to find just the right sock pattern for this gorgeous yarn. She found a pattern she liked called Feather & Fan Socks, eager to get started, she ran back to her favorite room and started knitting her first sock. Clickity, clickity, clickity was all that could be heard coming from her room for the next three days. In fact, her poor husband didn’t see hide or hair of her during that time. He had to cook his own supper during that time too but on the forth day while he was getting ready to open up yet another can of beans, he heard screaming. Figuring that his wife finally finished the socks she was making for herself and was screaming in excitement, he ignored it and excitedly put the can of beans away knowing that his wife would finally come out to make his supper. Therefore, he sat at the table and waited. Ten minutes went by, nothing. Twenty minutes went by, still nothing. Forty-five minutes went by, and still nothing. After an hour, he began to wonder what happened to his wife. He got up and headed for her room. When he got there, he stopped to listen. It was so quiet that he began to worry so he quickly opened the door and to his absolute horror, there lay his wife as still as can be with a DPN sticking out of her chest and going right through her heart. He could tell that she was dead. With tears in his eyes, he went over to her side cursing the socks she was knitting, thinking that she accidentally impaled herself on the DPN. When he got to her side, he saw a note, puzzled he picked it up and began to read…

Bad socks! Bad, bad socks!

My dear husband, Please forgive me for my decision to take my life. I just couldn’t stand it anymore. The pressure was too great for me to handle. No one could endure what I’ve been through. It started 3 days ago when I decided to knit a pair of socks for myself with that brightly colored yarn that you had your eyes on (See that’s what she gets for being selfish and keeping that yarn for her.) I had the perfect pattern for it called Feather and Fan socks. So I started knitting away trying to get the first one finished by today figuring that I could have the pair finished by Sunday so that I could wear them to church with my new clear clogs made for showing off my hand knit socks (What church does she go to?)  When I finished picking up the stitches along the gussets, (Ya right! Like he knew what she was talking about.) I decided to try it on to see how it fit. I finally, after much struggling, got it over my heel and up to my calf, to my horror I saw how tight it was. I couldn’t understand it. Everyone on the sockalong list that I belong to was complaining that their socks were coming out too lose. How could mine be so tight? So I traced my steps right from the beginning. The pattern called for 72 stitches, I had 72 stitches. It called for sock yarn, I used sock yarn, it called for size 1 needles, I used a size 1 circular. Oh wait a minute, oh no, no, no, no, this can’t be, I thought. This needle says size 0. That can’t be right. Maybe the manufacturer made a mistake in marking the needle. I never make that kind of mistake. So to prove myself right, I checked the needle with my needle gauge. I almost died right there. The needle gauge read a size 0. I used a 0 when I should have been using a 1. I was horrified! Now what was I going to do; all this work for nothing. Yes I could send it to the frog pond, (“Why would she want to throw it in our little pond”, her husband wondered.) but that’s just not an option for me. So I caved in and took the easy way out. I hope you won’t miss me too much. (She’s kidding. Right?)

 Your loving wife Gail, who lovingly knitted by her own hands, socks for you. 

P.S.

Do not wash those socks in hot water or they will shrink. I put a lot of work into those!
I want to be buried with my stash of sock yarn, my sock books and my knitting needles!
My wedding band can be hocked!

A note from Gail:

If you haven’t guessed it by now this story is about me. Oh yes I’m still very much alive and didn’t go to that extreme but as you froggers know, I sure felt like flinging those stupid socks right out the window and put them out of their misery or better yet get Annie from Misery to hobble those suckers.

I also wanted to mention that I received an email from a lady who was offended by my humor about size. She took it as an insult to ALL plus size people. Let me just say again that this story is about me and yes I am plus size. It took me many years to get to the point where I could look at myself in a mirror and feel comfortable enough about my body to be able to laugh at myself and realize that I am who I am and proud of it. Fat is only a word. It can’t hurt you unless you let it. You can choose to make it bad and allow it to rule your life in a negative way or use it to describe who you really are in a positive way. Here are descriptions of the person I am.

F= abulous

A= musing

T= rustworthy

Okay now it’s your turn. Send me some descriptions of yourself using FAT and if I publish it, you’ll receive free yarn.

Did you know? A recent quote from Knitty Coffee shop says: Analysis: Sock yarn has more addictive properties than crack. That's the only explanation I can come up with. Sockamaniac says: "No-o-o-o kidding! We knew that didn't we? One thing they forgot to mention is that spinning your own yarn is not only highly addictive but impossible to quit. In fact to this day there is not one single spinner that has been able to overcome their addiction. And have you noticed that there are no quit spinning rehab places for spinners? Come on now, let's tell it like it really is." Note what the Journal on Neurology reports regarding knitting: Knitting is one of 13 activities shown to reduce the risk of developing dementia by as much as 38%. Sockamaniac says:  "Oh yea? Well what they don't know is that there are different kinds of dementia, such as stashamentia! So yes, that urge to buy yarn that you really don't need cause you haven't finished all your other hundreds of projects, or buying more yarn only to find out that you already have 50 of the same balls at home, or throwing your teens out the night they graduate just so you could have their rooms to store more yarn, not to mention sending poor hubby's Boss stereo system with the super sonic sub-woofers and TV to the repair when they didn't even need it so you could use all those wonderful sections in the now empty entertainment unit for yet more yarn and unfinished projects. I certainly would call this desperate act to find more storage stashamentia (stash dementia- defined as not knowing what you are doing or having delusions that you've finished a sock project and need to start another one thus needing to buy more yarn). And it goes on and on... And what's really scary is that we can relate to squirrels and are known to follow them around as they collect acorns and store them away hoping to learn new ways to store our stash."-Gail And spinning is another of the 13 activities mentioned above known to reduce stress. Sockamaniac says: "I knew that since I just made it up. The real facts are that you can get plantars faciitis, tennis elbow, carpal tunnel, herniated discs, panic attacks, poor eyesight and a host of other ailments from excessive spinning but do you think that stops a Spinamaniac? NOT! Attention! New Disease Discovered! Highly Contagious to Sock Knitters! No Cure! Rats Beware! You can catch it too! Because this disease may cause panic, the founders have tried to keep it a secret from the sock knitting public for fear of widespread panic but being the investigator that she is, Gail, sniffed it out and is sharing it with her fellow sock knitters. The new disease is called Frog-gi-tus. The gi is pronounced guy. How did Gail find about this? Well, she heard a story about a sock knitting lady, who could never seem to finish a sock, let alone a pair. She's been knitting the same sock for 50 years and has yet to complete the pair. The problem? She would knit so far, about to the ankle, when suddenly this overwhelming urge came over her and she started ripping out (called frogging) the entire sock and start over again. This went on for 50 years. Can you just imagine knitting and ripping, knitting and ripping, knitting and ripping the same sock over and over again for 50 years and never have even one pair of socks? Anyway, she finally got concerned over this compulsion and went to her doctor. He ran every test he could think of and nothing was found. So he sent her to a specialist. After more specialized tests, which seemed weird to her, ( the tests involved, touching and smelling different kinds of yarns to see what her reaction would be, color tests to see if any invoked unusual reactions and pictures of yarn stores to see if she could look at them and remain calm) the doctor had a diagnosis. He explained that she has froggitus for which there is no cure and that sadly, she'll spend the rest of her life knitting and frogging, knitting and frogging, knitting and frogging. Gail went to see the doctor to check out the story and what did she find? The doctor knitting and frogging, knitting and frogging, knitting and frogging. It seems he caught this contagious disease from the lady. And what became of Gail after having been exposed to the doctor? We'll leave it to your imagination. If you don't want to catch this disease, you must avoid anyone who rips out their socks or you'll find yourself knitting and frogging, knitting and frogging, knitting and frogging for the rest of your life. Don't say I didn't warn you! And for those of you who are already stricken with this disease, you need to identify yourselves!-Gail Beware of This Illness! Startzophrenia, the old-start-more-projects-before you-finish-the-last-one syndrome, this one's not in the dementia family, but more in the schizophrenia disorder family (you think you see a project finished when it's only a hallucination from the disorder). I have this one real bad. It's so bad that, my doctor just had to up my meds so that I could focus on the project at hand. Sure hope this helps since I've tried so many already. I can tell you from experience that you especially have to watch out for this one. If you don't get treatment right away, it can really get out of hand. I knew one knitter who ignored the symptoms until it was too late. She sold her modest home (which she could afford, I might add) and bought a warehouse big enough to hold a 747 jet and lives in it. And now with the high cost of heating oil, she has to build fires in trash barrels to keep warm. She can't take baths either till spring when things warm up. She's even gotten used to sleeping on a mattress in one small corner of the warehouse. Did I say it was a baby mattress? After all bigger mattresses take up too much room. You'll be happy to know that her billions of half-finished projects are safe and sound. She's been seen lately standing in long lines at the local food kitchen. Remember, this could happen to you. So I ask you knitters out there, does knitting really reduce the risk of developing dementia, etc? You are entering Sockamaniac Sematary. Enter if you dare and don't say I didn't warn you! A true Sockamaniac always plans ahead for the inevitable! We trust no one with our stash and knitting supplies so to make sure our wishes are kept we went ahead and purchased our headstones with the epitaph of our choice. Here are a few from my fellow Sockamaniac Sock knitters group members! Here's What My Readers Have to Say: On my sockamaniac sockalong group, I asked my members to finish this statement: You know you're a Sockamaniac when... Here's what they said: You know you're a sockamaniac when there isn't a surface in the house that doesn't have a working sock and/or a pattern and/or sock yarn on it! ~ N. When you've got pounds of sock yarn in your stash but you have to go to the LYS to buy more because you don't have any sock yarn to knit with.  You know what I mean there's the stash you actually knit and the stash that you just keep. ~ J.F. Or... You've got pounds of sock yarn but still have to immediately search the internet when anyone mentions new sock yarn. ~D.    You know you’re a sockamaniac when hubby offers to take you out to an exclusive very expensive 10 star restaurant where you really have to dress up but it’s worth it with all the pampering you’ll get and you tell him, “I can’t go! I HAVE to finish this sock.” He pleads with you trying to get you out of the house. You feel guilty and reluctantly go. At the restaurant he says to you, “Now isn’t this much better than staying home knitting socks?” You open your evening bag and pull out your sock knitting ready to knit and reply, “Yes dear it is so much better,” and you begin to knit away. ~ G.A.D. When you keep collecting yarn and patterns for more than you can ever do. ~ J.B.                                                                   Do you consider yourself a Sockamaniac and  proud of it? Well what are you waiting for? Take my button and show the world how you feel! I would appreciate a link to my site.         Free Counter Sockamaniac Sock Knitters Join | List | Previous | Next | Random | Previous 5 | Next 5 | Skip Previous | Skip Next Powered by RingSurf Free Counter

This is a great source for Wooly Nylon. What is Wooly Nylon? It is a thin nylon serger thread that sock knitters use in addition to their yarn, to reinforce heels and toes when using 100% wool yarns.

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